Blue Happy Living

Monday my favorite day of the week was not so favorite this week,  The day started with many challenges and ended with total exhaustion.  All day I tried to pull up the Blue Happy feeling but it just never appeared.  Sharing those non Blue Happy days is hard it means I have to expose my faults, moods and weakness.  No one or day is perfect and by no means do I think they will all be Blue Happy.  So I’m gonna be honest about these days and share with you.

Monday was class picture day at school but it didn’t affect me because I’m not a core teacher.  So off to school I went with no worries in the world.  The announcement that you need to have your picture made if you missed the one early in the year was a bit shocking to me.  I DO NOT LIKE MY PICTURE MADE!  It really is my issue and stems from years of hearing remarks from adults that needed to watch what they were saying.  Also from the years of weight gain and unfit life style I lived.  This is the hard but honest part to admit when I look in the mirror  or at pictures I still see the over weight 282 pound person.  That  is why when I post a picture it is almost always a head shot.  Even though I’m half the size I use to be I don’t see it.  Oh my goodness this is hard for me to say.  I’m telling you this to be honest and also to let you know that I do have not so Blue Happy days and that is normal. My dear friend Eileen reminded me that I have a grandson that will love looking at his Lolli in years to come.  That made it easier to have it done, so I did.

I think Monday was just a come to head day for many things going on.  I have changed my workout routine and I’m getting up every morning Monday through Friday at 4:15 and heading to the gym at 5am.  This is week 2 of doing this and my body and mind are feeling the brunt of this new challenge.  It really feels good and I’m already seeing and feeling a difference in my body.  I’m going into the 3rd week with some new lessons that I feel will change how I feel.  I NEED MORE SLEEP! I have to give up a few things to add this morning gym time.  I also need to eat more protein and drink more water.  Don’t get me wrong I love this new challenge and I’m going to ride this out for 1 year.  I’m looking forward to where this is taking me and what I will learn.

Being honest can be very fulfilling and cleansing.  Someone said to me where is your Blue Happy, I felt like I had let them down and let myself down.  I beat myself up over this for a few days.  There is so much pressure to be perfect, get it all perfect and never stubble.  I ‘m not perfect and I will stubble, we all will.  It isn’t the end of the world it just time to make a new plan and move on.  I’m sure you can make a list of things you need a redo over.  Then do it, just restart the next day and move forward.  I’m gonna try to have a Blue Happy Thursday and I hope that you do as well.